Marketing Humor| Explained by: Groucho Marks – Laugh & Learn
Two dollars on Sunup
Ayy boss, boss come here. ya wanna something hot?
Not now I just had lunch
anyhow, I don’t like an ice cream
Hey, come here, come here
I no sell ice cream, that’s a fake to fool the police
I sell it tips on the horses, I got something that they can’t lose one dollar
no some other time, I’m sorry, I’m betting on Sunup
some other time alright
okay two dollars on Sunup
Sunup is the worst horse on the track
I noticed he wins all the time
Alright, just because he comes in first
well I don’t want’em any better than first
two dollars on Sunup
a boss, boss come here, come here
suppose you bet on Sunup
what do you want to get a for your money 2 to 1.
One dollar and you remember me all your life
That’s the most nauseating proposition I ever had
Come on, come on, you look like a like a sport
Come on boss, don’t be afraid for one buck
That’s The horse
How’d he get in here?
Get your ice cream, ice cream
I had that same horse when I had my eyes examined
Hey ice cream… What about this optical illusion you just slipped me, I don’t understand
Ah that’s not the real name of the horse, that’s the horse in code
Look in your code book
What do ya mean code?
ya look in the code book, that’ll tell ya what horse you have
Well, I haven’t got any code book
You don’t got a code book?
You know where I can get one?
However just by accident, I think I gotta one right here, here you are
How much is it?
It’s a free!
Just the one dollar printing charge
Well ahh, gimmee one without printing, I’m sick of printing
Ahh come on, you wanta win
Yes, sure, of course I wanna win!
Well then you gotta have a this
I wanna win but, I don’t want the savings of a lifetime wiped out in
a twinkling of an eye
Thank you very much… Ice cream
ZVBXRPL page 34
Hey Ice Cream, I can’t make head or tale outta this
That’s alright, look in the master code book, that will tell you where to look
Master code? I haven’t got any master code book
You don’t got a master code book?
No… do ya know where I can get one?
Well just by accident I think I got one right here, here you are
A lot quick accidents around here for a quiet neighborhood
Just a minute, is there a printing charge on this?
No.. Ohh thanks!
Just a two dollar delivery charge
What do ya mean, delivery charge? I’m standing right next to you
Well for such a short distance, I make it a dollar
Couldn’t I move over here and make it fifty-cents?
Yes, but I’d move over here and make it a dollar just the same
Say ahh, maybe i’d better open a charge account uhh?
You got some references?
Well the only I know around here is you!
Ahh that’s no good, you have to pay cash
You know a liitle while ago, I coulda put two dollars on Sunup and avoided all this
Oh ya… and throw your money away! Thank you very much!
Now I’m all set huh?
Ice cream, here’s your ice cream… tootsie footsie
The letter Z stands for J, unless the horse is a philly
Hey… tootsie footsie, is the horse a philly?
I don’t know, look in your breeder’s guide
What do ya mean… breeder’s guide, I haven’t got any breeder’s guide
You haven’t got breeder’s guide?
Shhh… not so loud, I don’t want it to get around that I haven’t got a breeder’s guide
Even my best friends don’t know I haven’t got a breeder’s guide
Well boss, I feel pretty sorry for you walking around without a breeder’s guide
Why you’re just throwing your money away, buying those other books without a breeder’s guide
where can I get one? As though I didn’t know?
One is no good, you gonna have to have the whole set
Hey… ya know all I wanted was a horse, public library!
How much is a set?
Yah… four for five
Well alright, give me the four, there’s no use of me throwing away the money. This is all I’m buying, I didn’t want so much.. I thought you could do this quickly!
Six dollars on Sunup
ZVBXRPL is Blains…
Some days the code is in the name of the jockey, instead of the name of the horse
Now you find out who Jockey Blains is riding and that’s the horse you bet on!
Ohh, I’m getting the idea but, I didn’t get it for a long time you know
It’s pretty tricky when you don’t know it isn’t it uhh…
It’s not that book!
It’s not that book!
It’s not… It’s not that book?
Oh, I see
Nooo… It’s not that book!
It’s not that book!
No… no… It’s not that book!
No, you haven’t got that book
You got it uhh…
I’ll get it in a minute though… won’t I?
Here’s Tootsie Frootsie…
I’m getting a fine Tootsie Frootsieing right here!
How much is it?
It’s the last book I’m buying!
Sure… you don’t need no more
Here, here’s a ten dollar bill. Shoot the change will ya, I’m goin to the post
I gotta no change, I’m gonna have ta give ya nine more books, huh boss
You take a nine more books
Say, you don’t have any bookcases there do yah?
Well… you come tomorrow
I didn’t know that you needed so much from the uhh…
That’s alright! You gonna win on the horses today
I just walk up and bet on a horse
Ope… ope… ope…
Is there more shiny books down in there?
Close… close… close…
Good thing I brought my legs with me uhh?
Tell me… Which horse have I got? Hurry up would ya?
Insides a fella blowing his horn
Here it is… here
Jackie Burns 152… That’sa Rosie
Look! 40 to 1
Ohhh, what a horse
Am I gonna give that bookie a whipping!
I was gonna bet on Sunup on 10 to 1 ha! ha!
Look… 40 to 1
I’ll show them a thing or two
Hey there big boy… two dollars on Rosie uhh!
Sorry… that race is over
I say the race is over
Over… Who won?
Sunup… That’sa my horse Sunup, Sunup
Hurry up Sunup
Geta your Tootsie Frootsie… Nice Ice cream